I wish we had never invented the word bonding because it assumes that here are two separate things that must be brought together. But no separation has really taken place. The whole issue is to simply maintain the environment of the infant in an unbroken fashion and to meet the expectations of the natural agenda, the whole genetic encoding of the human being, that which is enfolded in the brain with the appropriate environment. Here again is the model imperative. The model essential to the growth that takes place after birth is the mother.
What happens within even the neural structures of the brain, of the infant from let’s say the fifth natal month on, when the brain really begins to function fully, we find that the brain actually grows neural structures, parts of brain grow, patterns form, networks form, for a special uterine purposes, learnings that are necessary for that particular kind of an experience. Right before birth these are eradicated. They’re dissolved. They’re gotten rid of. And then there’s a huge brain growth spurt at birth of new neural field potentials are formed for the kinds of learning which then unfold and then must be made very quickly for the adaptation to the new environment.
Now in either case the environment is the mother, internally or externally. The environment is always the mother, the mothering one, the nurturing one. The new structures that form are to structure according to the new aspects of what was just an interior situation within the womb. The new aspects of the same nurturing one, the mother, on an exterior level so there’s no real break there whatsoever. Now, whether these new structures are utilized depends on being given simply the new environment of the mother in their exterior form.
I wish we had never invented the word bonding because it assumes that here are these two separate things that must be brought together and this bridge must be built between them. But no separation has ever really taken place. The whole issue is to simply maintain the environment of the infant in an unbroken fashion and to meet the expectations of the natural agenda, the whole genetic encoding of the human being, that which is enfolded in the brain with the appropriate environment. Here again is the model imperative. The model essential to the growth that takes place after birth is the mother. It has been throughout human history. If not the mother a surrogate mother, someone will step in and take over that role if something should happen to the mother. Now, there the infant could make the compensation. They could make that shift to a surrogate mother for instance or whatever it might be, but the environment must be provided and it has to be a permanent environment. That is, it can’t be an environment that’s here for a couple of minutes and then disappears. They have established a relationship on a hormonal level, on all sensory levels, the bonding with the mother’s heart beat, with her breath patterns, with her voice, all of these things, you can’t just suddenly take that away and expect the environment to be an inanimate crib-like object and so on and so forth, of total isolation because then all the genetically encoded patterns for adopting a new structure of knowledge around the new aspects of that mother environment are destroyed. So the whole thing is the separation itself. Birth is not a separation of the child. It’s a shifting from one side of the coin to the other, the interior mother to the exterior mother. It’s all one environment. They recognize the exterior mother instantly from any other mother in fact. So, all we’re asking is that the birth process itself be allowed to remain intact. Birth itself is automatically what we think of as bonding and there’s no emotion to it at all. It’s a neural process, biological, when there’s a heart and hormones then the whole system of both infant and mother.