Hi Lisa…
Interesting and common challenge.
Mentoring a real man in today's world.
Every young man is unique. One shoe definitely does not fit all.

I do not know of a rite of passage group that might fit the need.

What does it mean to be a man in today’s world?

I think we need to know where we are pointing before drawing a map.

What are the skills, wisdom and capacities needed to be such a thing?

The Way of the Superior Man : A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire by David Didea
Fire in the Belly by Sam Keen
Would be good reading for you and your partner to help you formulate your own views.

How can you draw a map if you don’t know where you are going?

I think it is interesting that the same principles that apply to home and un-schooling for the early child seem to fall of the radar with teens and young adults.

1. Taking our cues from the young person

2. The model imperative, that is, each stage of development and the unique capacities that unfold at each stage are model dependent. No model – no development.

3. Experience is not the best teacher, it is the only teacher.

The same core principles that apply to the two year old apply to the twenty year old.

The question is, are you up to the challenge? If not – then this is another perfect opportunity to grow and expand your capacities, and by doing that you meet the challenge.

What are the unique interests that your son is? What experiences will help him develop the skills, insights and optimal behaviors that add up to being a man in today’s world? Who has these abilities and can serve as a mentor? Count the skills, add up the experiences and reach out and connect to the appropriate mentor. Connect the dots.

The first step, soul searching and personal exploration about what is a man in today’s world is the most challenging. Do a good job with this and the other steps are a cake-walk. Turn to formulas, stereotypes, tradition, what films and sports model and you are asking for trouble.

Yes others can help, after you know where you are going.

First things first!

Michael Mendizza

From Lisa...

Hi Michael,

I have seen you twice and read some of your books. I love your presentations and ideas!

My son just turned 13 (Jan 12th). He has had a pretty "easy" white boy life. He homeschools and pretty much gets to delve into the things he is interested in (welding, skiing, BMX racing, video games, etc).

I am looking for ideas on how to move him on the journey to manhood with challenges, rites of passage or other. Do you have any ideas or recommendations for books, programs, websites, etc?


With love,